Coping Up With Emotional Distress with Alzheimer’s Patients Seeking Intimacy outside Marriage

“Alzheimer’s” is a mental disorder which destroys certain brain cells causing problem with memory, behavior and interaction at home, work and in the society. As the disease progresses, the symptoms might include hallucinations, violent behavior, loss of memory about past events including life history, and forgetting who certain people are.

It gets further distressing when the patients forgetting their spouses or partners start developing intimate relationships outside marriage. Johns Hopkins’ newsletter “Health after 50” tries to lessen the accompanying distress due to these affairs outside marriage and suggests ways to cope up with the emotional health challenge. After all it is very frustrating and sad to see one’s partner losing track of all the memories of the past life and all the intimacies shared with a partner.

Developing an understanding behind the reasons why your partner suffering from ‘Alzheimer’s disease’ seems to forget, who you are would help in reducing the level of anger and mental disturbance. Dr. Peter Rabins, M.D., Professor, Psychiatry and Health Policy, and Director, Division of Geriatric Psychiatry and Neuropsychiatry at Johns Hopkins say, “Many people with Alzheimer’s (and some patients recovering from stroke) develop a condition called ‘prosopagnosia’, which is an isolated inability to recognize familiar faces.” So that’s why they stop recognizing their spouses.

In such a situation, these patients start getting close and intimate with the people living with them in the long-term care facilities. Though such cases don’t happen so often, but in such cases, it is surely going to bring deep distress among the family members.

Now the causes behind this condition could be many ranging from simple inability to relate to the family members as they cannot recognize their faces, or the patients might start suspecting his family members for no reason. However the effects of the disease vary from patient to another. They might be able to recognize some of their family members, forgetting rest of them at the same time.

In this situation, if the patients forgetting their spouses develop intimacy among other patients should not be surprising however for husband and wife, feeling dejected in such circumstances is a natural feeling. “It’s hard enough to watch your spouse lose the memories that you share,” says Dr. Rabins.

Dr. Rabins suggests that it is important to assess whether the patients really know and understand what they are doing and also to evaluate their ability to consent. Only an expert psychologist or psychiatrist can evaluate the capacity to consent.

This is truly a very challenging situation however with some understanding about the patient’s mental condition and the neurological damages it has brought would be able to give a better way of dealing with it. Taking help from the counselor can certainly be helpful in coping up with the changes it brings in marriage and other relationships.

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